As humans we have an amazing ability to think ahead and anticipate obstacles or problems. This has proven an essential survival skill and prehistoric man would not have survived without it. We all worry to some degree I know I do, it’s a necessary part of thinking ahead, helping us to plan and cope, There is no 'right' amount of worry, a normal amount of worry helps you get what you want and can be an important part of problem solving. However excessive worry can leave you demoralised, exhausted and get in the way of the life you want to live; interfering with relationships and career plans. Worriers tend to get caught up in a whirlwind of negative thoughts, of ‘what if’s’ and worse case scenarios.
Signs and symptoms you may be worrying too much are very similar to those of anxiety and can include, tiredness, restlessness, aches and pains, sleep problems, irritability, low self-esteem, difficulty in concentrating, palpitations, headaches and digestive upsets. Once the physical sensations appear this can create more worry, anxiety and even panic attacks. Excessive worrying or generalised anxiety disorder (GAD) affects up to 5% of the general population, causing much distress and without help can be very debilitating.
Ways to cope with your worry:
Distinguish is this a real worry? Firstly is your worry something you can change? It is important to get the root of the worry to help identify if it’s ‘a real’ problem you can find a solution for or a hypothetical worry (something which at present does not exist but may do in the future). If it is a worry you can change then set about problem solving, have a brainstorming session, make a list and focus on what you can change
Try practising postponing worry If you can’t do something about it right now and you find yourself worrying during the day, practice worry postponement, a useful technique whereby you set aside the same time and place each day to do nothing but worry. When those anxious thoughts pop up during the day write them down and make a list (even the very act of writing down the worry can loosen their power). Say to yourself “I’m not going to engage in this worry now, I will engage in this worry later”. The important thing is to try to focus your attention externally rather than internally and bring your attention to the present moment, try using your senses, 5 things you can see, 4 things you can hear, 3 things you can feel, 2 things you can smell and I thing you can taste. When it does get to ‘worry time’ and you pull out your list to actively worry you may find it hard to do so. This also works really well with sleep, if you are struggling to sleep, don’t stay in bed, designate a worry chair, get up and go and sit there and try to worry. This works for me and you will be heading back to bed sooner than you think
Challenge your anxious thoughts Often when we worry we tend to develop unhealthy thinking styles or ‘cognitive distortions’ where our thoughts can become negative and often irrational. Our brains are constantly trying to make sense of what is happening around us and sometimes ‘takes short cuts’ which generate results which aren’t completely accurate. So whether you are over generalising, have ‘all or nothing thinking’ or are jumping to conclusions it is important to dispute these thoughts. Ask yourself, what is the evidence for this thought? Or what is the worst thing that could happen if this were true and if it did happen could I cope? Have some self compassion for yourself and ask what would I say to a friend or a child who has the same worry?
Interrupt your worry Get up and move around, have a dance, do some jumping jacks, get outside for a walk or go for a swim. Exercise releases endorphins which can relieve tension and similarly being outside can give you a totally different perspective. There is a reason Steve Jobs took his meetings whilst walking, it can help with creativity and problem solving
Accept your worry If your worry is something you cannot change then your worry will rarely lead to a solution. Accept at present you may not be able to change the situation you are worrying about and your feelings however uncomfortable will pass.Try practicing mindfulness, acknowledge your worrying thoughts, observe them and let them go, like clouds floating across the sky
Look after yourself Make sure having a healthy diet, plenty of sleep and getting some exercise are a priority, research increasingly shows all can reduce anxious thought.linked to reductions in stress and anxiety, currently more research to healthy diet Try some stress and relaxation techniques, a few breathing exercises or PMR (Progressive Muscle Relaxation)
Talk about it Talk to your friends, family or somebody you can trust. Find out how they would approach the situation, maybe would they do something differently. It’s a great way to get another perspective on your worry and problem solve together. Worrying alone can be very overwhelming and at times can lead us to feeling very isolated. Research has shown when people share their worries it really can help improve their situation. Back to the old adage of 'a problem shared is a problem halved'
Above all it’s important to remember you are not alone and if you are struggling contact a medical professional. Don’t let excessive worry ruin your life it can be treated.
I offer a free 20 minute consultation, if you have any questions about how I can help with your worry please feel free to contact me via phone or email.
