Try not to think of a polar bear…
When we are confronted by painful thoughts or memories it only natural to want to push them away. Unfortunately we humans are not very good at not thinking of something. Try this experiment for yourself..
For the next 60 seconds, try not to think of a white polar bear. Count at the same time how many times you do think of the bear.
Did you think of a polar bear and if so how many times? It’s almost impossible not to? But why?
Research has shown the more we try to not think of something, the more we end up thinking about it. We just can’t help having intrusive, unwanted thoughts about the thing we are trying to suppress; it’s hard wired into our brains. However this ‘rebound effect’ means not only have we struggled to not think of a polar bear for 60 seconds we will probably have a tendency to think about them more than we would have had we not even thought of them the first place. That’s a lot of polar bears and what’s even worse the effect can be even stronger if we try to suppress something emotional. Try the experiment again..
For the next 60 seconds try as hard as you can not to think of something you do or don’t like or something you are scared of. It could be anything from a huge spider crawling towards you, for me it would be standing at the edge of a cliff. Count again the amount of times you had the thought?
Did you think of it and if so how many times? I know I found that much more difficult and saw not just one but several cliffs and yet another polar bear!! It seems no matter how hard we try to distract ourselves from the thought or the image we are trying to suppress it just pops right back up.
Why is that?
Our brains are very good at having us think in terms of imagery, our pop up or intrusive thoughts are very powerfully linked to images, so it’s no wonder they are so invasive. We all have thoughts, recent research has found the average person has around 6200 a day. That’s a lot of thoughts we all have and whether they are linked to images, memories (good and bad), the intrusive thoughts are the ones we did not choose to have. It’s hardly surprising that someone struggling with anxiety, depression or simply having lots of negative thoughts, would therefore find it hard to not get stuck on a spin of these thoughts. These thoughts simply pop up at any time and when we are confronted by often painful memories or images it is only natural we would want to push them away. And as we have just witnessed our human brains are not very good at not thinking of something.
However there are ways to help you focus on making them less overwhelming. Try to:
Create distance between you and the intrusive thought. Visualise your thoughts as clouds, you could try imagining your mind as a blue sky, picture the clouds floating by, some are light, some dark but none of them are permanent. Or try to visualise them as trains at a station, you wouldn’t jump on the first train that arrived? Let the trains pass by (this works for me)
Try a mindfulness meditation, such as on my website, ‘Leaves on the Stream’ and practice it, the more you do the more you will be able to separate yourself from your thoughts
Externalise the thoughts, write them down, say them out loud, repeat them over and over or sing them in a funny voice. Take away the power they have on your mind. If it is a real worry read my blog on, ‘How to cope with worry’
Have some fun with your thoughts, back to the spider, play around with the image, make it into a cartoon, add some wellies to it’s eight legs. Not quite as scary?
Connect to the here and now, with realising you may be worrying about the past or future. Be present, try a grounding technique, 5 things you can see, 4 things you can feel, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell and 1 thing you can taste or count back from 100 in 7’s
Try a breathing exercise, find one you like and practice using it or try a PMR (Progressive Muscle Relaxation). Both so good for relaxation and intrusive thoughts
Get outside, take a walk in nature, lot of research spending time in nature can boost mental health and our cognitive abilities. Walking has many health benefits and can help break the cycle of rumination by engaging your body and senses in such a way to take your mind off whatever you have been worrying about
Spend time with a pet, a recent study shows interacting with a pet can lower levels of the stress hormone cortisol. Animal therapy interventions are having huge successes, they can provide a wonderful distraction and be a source of emotional support (big supporter of this one)
Above all try to remember, whilst uncomfortable, these thought and feelings associated with them will pass. Have the conversation with yourself, “ I am having the thought that...” Better still, “I recognise I am having the thought that…” or simply, “Thank you brain for that thought, I have that covered for today”